Book Summary: 3-2-1 Following Jesus in Threes (Tan Soo-Inn, 2013)


  • Three friends meeting two hours one time a month over a meal.
  • Friends are important (Eccl 4:9-12, Jesus and disciples)

4 kinds of groupings:

  • Public
  • Social
  • Personal
  • Intimate (321)

Triad is a good number for discipleship, spiritual formation, mission

What spiritual friends do:

  • Loving (accept and forgive)
  • Supporting (empathise and encourage)
  • Challenging (teach, rebuke, cheer)

Disciplines of spiritual friendships:

  • Listening
  • Sharing (5 levels of communication – cliche, info, idea and opinion, feelings, self disclosure)
  • Discernment

Components of a 3-2-1 meeting:

  • Eat a Meal
  • Share Life by Conversations
  • Pray together (ACTS format)

Further components:

  • Confession
  • Decision making (help decide and be accountable)
  • Vocational discernment (General call, Specific call, Immediate responsibility)

What happens:

  • Eat in a quiet place
  • Connect by sharing a major life event that happened since they last met
  • Check in with one joy and one struggle (Life with God, Work, Family, Church) *main part*
  • Get help on any life area
  • Study together
  • Pray together
  • Set a date for next meeting

Life cycle of triad:

  • Conviction
  • Accountability (let church know)
  • Prayer (ask God who to join triad)
  • Invite (commit to 2 meetings first)
  • Run first meeting
  • Call for commitment (agree to a written covenant of commitment, edification, acceptance, biblical authority, confidentiality, transparency)
  • Periodic review (every 6 months, 1 year renew)
  • End well (last meeting recount highlight of group and thanksgiving)


  • Prefer same gender
  • Not married couples together
  • No need to be same age range but same maturity
  • 321 can’t replace other groups like cell
  • Can be 432!

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