Book Summary: The (unofficial) guide to starting school right

The (unofficial) guide to starting school right

Melvin Chew and Andrea Chan, 2017

This a good book I read that will help your kids as they transition to school life. There are many challenges in school and this book offers some ideas. As a Christian, I believe parents and kids can pray together. The church youth group will be an important community for teenagers in school.

1. Physical Preparation

– The balance or middle ground

– Always prepare early

– Impressions are important (just be who you are)

2. Mental preparation

– Paint positive picture and words in your mind

3. Emotional preparation

– Stop yourself from reacting at once to your thoughts and emotions. Think first.

4. Acceptance and Social Media

– We define acceptance by number of followers and likes.

– Learn to accept yourselves first through a good self-esteem

5. Friendship

– Good: Have your best interests, Reliable, Honest communication, Happy when you do well, Gives you personal space.

– Bad: Cares for themselves, unreliable in trouble, don’t listen or honest, feel jealous and betrayed, possessive.

6. How to Make Friends

– Categories: Hi/bye, Same Interests, 2nd tier, Old friends, True friends.

– Introduction: Be sincere, introduce name and smile, handshake, share common interest

  • How to be likeable:

– People like people who are like themselves

– Be genuine

– Ask people about themselves

– Say or do nice things for them

– Don’t be bossy, listen

– Love yourself first

– Know what the social norm is

  • 4 pitfalls:

– 1st impression vs impressing people

– friends are important but not everything. Take note who is real or not

– just because you treat them like your best friend,it doesn’t mean that you are theirs

– know your purpose, don’t do things just so people will like you.

7. Bullying

– A behaviour where someone intentionally and repeatedly causes harm, injury, discomfort or fear to another person.

– Types: physical,verbal, cyber, social

– Adult, Avoid, Assess

8. Handling expectations

  • Family

– align theirs with yours

– understand the reason behind their expectations

– keep them updated and involved in your plans

  • Friends

– have an open communication and learn to say NO

– balance your time with different groups

– do to others as you want them to do to you

  • Self

– set expectations that are realistic and achievable

– expectation vs acceptance levels

9. Handling relationships

  • Friends

– be sincere, open communication, be clear, give space, don’t demand, walk away from toxic friends, don’t dwell in negativity, never judge or assume

  • Teachers

– Follow rules, do the right thing, follow deadlines, understand them, know your objective to do well in school

  • Siblings

– Compromise, communicate, apologise, think of all the good moments, show love

  • Grandparents

– listen to their nagging as love, be patient, talk and spend time, understand their view, show love

  • Parents

– recall good times, understand their view and intentions, parents have feeling, stay calm, open communication, show love

10. Time management

– Do in order of Urgent and impt, Not urgent and impt, Urgent and Not impt, Not urgent not impt.

– Break down tasks into small manageable bits

– plan the right task at the right time, productive peak times vs nonproductive hours

– be realistic, don’t plan too much

– plan for interruptions

– plan breaks and rewards

– keep distractions away

– organise your things

11. Stress management

– Stress can be good or bad. Moderate amount is good.

– Destress: Music, talk, laugh, plan time, study earlier, games, say NO, exercise, rewards.

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