The (unofficial) guide to starting school right
Melvin Chew and Andrea Chan, 2017
This a good book I read that will help your kids as they transition to school life. There are many challenges in school and this book offers some ideas. As a Christian, I believe parents and kids can pray together. The church youth group will be an important community for teenagers in school.
1. Physical Preparation
– The balance or middle ground
– Always prepare early
– Impressions are important (just be who you are)
2. Mental preparation
– Paint positive picture and words in your mind
3. Emotional preparation
– Stop yourself from reacting at once to your thoughts and emotions. Think first.
4. Acceptance and Social Media
– We define acceptance by number of followers and likes.
– Learn to accept yourselves first through a good self-esteem
– Good: Have your best interests, Reliable, Honest communication, Happy when you do well, Gives you personal space.
– Bad: Cares for themselves, unreliable in trouble, don’t listen or honest, feel jealous and betrayed, possessive.
6. How to Make Friends
– Categories: Hi/bye, Same Interests, 2nd tier, Old friends, True friends.
– Introduction: Be sincere, introduce name and smile, handshake, share common interest
- How to be likeable:
– People like people who are like themselves
– Be genuine
– Ask people about themselves
– Say or do nice things for them
– Don’t be bossy, listen
– Love yourself first
– Know what the social norm is
- 4 pitfalls:
– 1st impression vs impressing people
– friends are important but not everything. Take note who is real or not
– just because you treat them like your best friend,it doesn’t mean that you are theirs
– know your purpose, don’t do things just so people will like you.
– A behaviour where someone intentionally and repeatedly causes harm, injury, discomfort or fear to another person.
– Types: physical,verbal, cyber, social
– Adult, Avoid, Assess
8. Handling expectations
– align theirs with yours
– understand the reason behind their expectations
– keep them updated and involved in your plans
– have an open communication and learn to say NO
– balance your time with different groups
– do to others as you want them to do to you
– set expectations that are realistic and achievable
– expectation vs acceptance levels
9. Handling relationships
– be sincere, open communication, be clear, give space, don’t demand, walk away from toxic friends, don’t dwell in negativity, never judge or assume
– Follow rules, do the right thing, follow deadlines, understand them, know your objective to do well in school
– Compromise, communicate, apologise, think of all the good moments, show love
– listen to their nagging as love, be patient, talk and spend time, understand their view, show love
– recall good times, understand their view and intentions, parents have feeling, stay calm, open communication, show love
10. Time management
– Do in order of Urgent and impt, Not urgent and impt, Urgent and Not impt, Not urgent not impt.
– Break down tasks into small manageable bits
– plan the right task at the right time, productive peak times vs nonproductive hours
– be realistic, don’t plan too much
– plan for interruptions
– plan breaks and rewards
– keep distractions away
– organise your things
11. Stress management
– Stress can be good or bad. Moderate amount is good.
– Destress: Music, talk, laugh, plan time, study earlier, games, say NO, exercise, rewards.