How to be attractive: Moving past big boobs and Barbie doll looks


A friend once asked me over a cup of hot coffee, ‘What would you choose? An ugly girl with a beautiful heart or a beautiful girl with an ugly heart?’

I pondered for a while, trying to figure out if it was a trick question. It wasn’t. It was a difficult choice for me. A part of me desires beauty and another part of me pulls me in another direction towards character. It was like those cartoons with an angel and devil sitting on opposite shoulders whispering in your ear.

I finally replied, ‘I don’t know.’

My friend laughed then replied, ‘I would choose the beautiful girl with the ugly heart.’

To say I was surprised was to put it mildly. ‘Why?’

‘It’s simple. You can change the heart but not the face.’

Barring plastic surgery, that statement is rather true. I’m not saying that was the right answer though. What about you? Would you choose physical looks over godly character? I know the model answer – choose character. But my physical cravings want the big boobs and Barbie doll perfect looks!

No wonder the skin care and cosmetics industry always has great business. Girls are willing to pay big bucks to look beautiful. Even Christian girls. But Peter the apostle tells us something contrary to popular opinion. He was a married man so he knows what he’s talking about. He said:

1 Peter 3:3-4
Do not let your adorning be external–the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear– but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

Peter seemed to have us in mind even though this was penned 2000 years ago. In other words, ladies, inner beauty is more important than your outward appearance. This does not mean you throw away cosmetics, our earrings and nice clothes. It is God’s will for a woman to look womanly and presentable. But if our outward appearance is all we focus on, God isn’t pleased.

How can a lady be attractive? Having a gentle and quiet spirit. Submission. That’s precious in God’s eyes. Not the bling-blings and latest fashion trends. Focus on the inner beauty because those are eternal and imperishable. No one can take that away from you. Age will take away your physical beauty but not the inner beauty. Make your inner beauty attractive and you will attract the right person for you.

I, as a guy, need a change of perspective. Guys tend to decide on very crude physical qualities (size, shape, length). I need God’s eyes that sees beyond the flesh, deep into a lady’s heart. To not focus solely on the outside but the inside beauty that never fades away.

What are you looking at?

Tell me what you think.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.