5 things before I’m impressed by her

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I’ll like to share 5 things that God has laid on my heart when choosing a wife. You may not agree with all my views, but do consider them if you are a single man like me in search of a godly wife that will not hinder your faith.

1. Must be a Christian
First things first, she must be a believer in Jesus. What does she believe in? In Jesus’ death on the cross for our sins. The Bible has clearly said we are not to marry non-Christians. That includes dating them. There’s no such thing as missionary dating. In all likelihood, you will be drawn away from God instead. Look at the many instances in the Bible of God’s people intermarrying with people of different faiths. It mostly turned out badly. The prime example being King Solomon and his 3000 strong harem. His heart was turned away.

2. Show Christian joy
She must be a joyful person. I’m not saying she has to be cracking jokes all the time or laughing at glass shattering volumes. She has to have that inner radiance that God is all she loves and enjoys. And this inner joy will bleed out into her face and interactions. A person with a gloomy, glum face cannot be a joyful person. Also similar is a person who is always whining. A joyful person should make you feel more energised after conversing with her.

3. Greet and respect my parents
Okay, this sounds out of place but hear me out. It bothers me when young people don’t greet my parents in church. They just pretend my parents are invisible. It shows a lack of respect for elders and is a danger sign to me. How they treat your seniors/parents is how they can treat you in the future. In the last days, the Bible says people will be lovers of self, proud, abusive and disobedient to parents. I don’t want a girl who shows no reverence to her parents or mine. Remember to say hello to uncle and auntie!

4. Friendliness to people not just their friends
In the same vein, observing how she behaves from afar can tell you much about a person. How does she relate to others? Not just to you or her friends. But those who are of lower positions (cleaners), strangers and people who are not well liked. If they show kindness to these people, I would be impressed. It could spring from wrong motivations but just let it stand the test of time. A person with wrong motivations wouldn’t be able to keep up the show.

5. Heart to give or go for mission work
Last but not least, she has to have a heart for mission work. The key word being ‘work’. It’s easy to go on a mission ‘trip’. But it’s different when you work. You have to do something that will stretch your spiritual muscles. I’m impressed when she prepares well and goes for mission with a heart to serve. She must be humble! Also, generosity to support God’s work and his workers goes a long way.

This list is not exhaustive but a good start. I pray that you will take this into consideration too and not settle for less. The final point I want to make is that you have to check yourself if you meet your own criteria! Having a whole list of criteria is useless if you’re not a spiritually attractive person to begin with.

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